You can't motorboat a personality
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
