My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
