When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
