I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
