you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
