I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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