So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex