He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...