isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...