if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line