3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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