She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
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Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.