I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I believe in your delicious
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
im on a boat
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