Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
