He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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