i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
