You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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