I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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