Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
