Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
did i walk over a car last night?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
