Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
