Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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