I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize