a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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