Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
