I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
