The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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