gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
