He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
there is glitter all over my balls
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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