i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
