so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
