so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
