just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
