What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
