he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
