Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
