ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize