that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
