I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
