He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
