Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Vodka?
Forever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
