Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
NoShamevember. You game?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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