If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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