It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
