Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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