I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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