One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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