Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
