My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
