This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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