Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
