Non-Jews are for practice
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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