mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
