my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
