Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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