I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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