Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We need to get me chipped asap
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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