Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
