OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
