yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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