There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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