i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
