it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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