so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
