the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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