i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
